Downside #7

You spend half your life on public transport

Yup, it's just one more thing you didn't consider when you signed up - how are you going to get between all these wonderful places you'll be dossing in, I mean reseaching? Well, simple answer: on buses. And trains. And planes. And pick-ups. And lorries. And mopeds. And tuk-tuks. And mules. In fact, a few weeks covering any kind of medium area and you'll realise you're not a travel writer at all, you're a transport writer.

It's a shame you're not actually paid to write about the intimate features of, say, every matatu in Somalia, becuase you will have spent way more time on them than you ever did in any of the piss-ant towns they pass through. Travellers may recognise your face from the picture in the book, but you can bet all the locals will remember is the regular thud of your head against the window of Mr Miyagi's Toyata Arsecruncher as you keep falling asleep for 1000km of pan-Asian potholes. 'Hey, Mr Noddy!', they'll cry, mocking your head rolls, and you're left with seat-sores, a slight migraine and one more reason to get a day job.