The deep, dark downsides of travel writing - your guide to the worst things about the best job in the world, by Tom Bohemia

7.7.04

Downside #13

You always get asked directions

Every. Single. Time. It doesn't matter what you do, step off a bus and ditch your bag for more than five minutes and someone will come up and ask you for directions to some place you never would have heard of even if you could speak whatever language they're asking you in. (In fact, I once even got asked for directions by a Nepalese train driver while carrying 40kg of luggage and wearing a Union Jack greatcoat, go figure.) All your careful cultural camouflage and purposeful walking is destroyed in an instant as you're forced to look puzzled, shrug inanely and say 'uh, me turyst' loud enough for all your fellow passengers to look at you and tut knowingly. You might as well wear a T-shirt saying 'I'm not really a local, please expose me'. And of course while your interlocutor rolls their eyes and apologises, their accomplice steals your wallet.

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