Downside #41

Censorious internet cafes

Fair enough, the backwoods yoof of today may need protecting from the great evils of internet sex, internet drugs, internet rock'n'roll and MySpace. I don't. There's nothing worse, after a long day pounding the streets, bars and butts of some godforsaken landlocked Azeri beach resort, than settling into the nearest netshop for a break, only to find some über-puritan guardian programme stops you accessing the rushes of that Iranian snuff porn you're editing, discussing a bit of light sedition or even catching up on your daily finger-fix of Girl With A One-Track Mind. Sorry, but if I believed in parental controls I wouldn't still be on the run from the Mostar Child Support Agency.

Even more disgruntling, as a member of the Fifth Estate you're constantly having to argue for free speech (mainly your own), better distribution for controversial books (mainly your own), and no state monitoring of electronica (especially your own), all on behalf of the dicks who just installed Mary Whitehouse Killjoy 2.1 on your only link to the outside world. As Johnny Cash would say, I'll see them all in hell, damn their eyes, damn their eyes. Of course if there's any justice they won't be able to see me...